At the end!

At the end, everything is fine,

Everyone is alright!

Then, what about You?

That's a factual question, right! Sometimes we wish if someone asks you that question. It's not a matter whether the answer is fine or not; it matters the moment of asking that question. You experience a kind of worth with that question. You experience as if someone is acknowledging your existence from somewhere. 

At the end, everything is fine,

Everyone is alright!

Then, what about You?

Taking my step back to expand 

the room for your loved ones,

I would be delighted to see your smile 

Rather than expanding my horizon

So, no matter where I belong.

You know my mysterious existence, 

And You know my soul connections.

It's not to prove anything,

But to acknowledge myself that 

You know whole of my being.

At the end, everything would be fine, 

Everyone should be happy.

So, the answer is Your happiness is my Life.

I wish if I can stay in Your thoughts,
in Your prayers and in Your heart forever...

Missing You...

I miss you terribly today 

Why your memories have taken charge over me !!

My Love and Lust are searching for Your presence 

Though each cell of my body is filled with Your Love. 

Nature showers the mist of your Love 

Sun has brought me the warmth of your memories

Cool wind is hugging me for reminding me 

About the deepest reminiscences of your desire.

My Love is spreading all over my body 

By leaving the message that I need You 

I can experience the vibrations of Your Love 

It's resonance questing for a merging of Love.

My day is just wrapped with Your Divine Love 

My mind is overjoyed with Your mystic presence 

My Love has cherished  by Your invisible touch 

 Still, I am missing You, but don't know why!!

I MISS YOU.....
&

KEEP SAFE.....

Haunting Memory of a New Year Eve..

Life is unpredictable. The witness of a fire break out at The  Address Hotel, Downtown Dubai was a horrendous experience for us, when we were waiting for a fabulous fire works at Burj Khalifa.

I was so hopeful and experiencing a kind of blissfulness in the New year eve. Actually, I have been residing in U. A.E.  for last 6 years but I never got a chance to witness one of the most beautiful fire works in the world. The reason was that either I would be on duty or lack of interest from Rengi. So I was really planned to celebrate my new year eve this time at Burj Khalifa, the worlds tallest building. Rengi, Shibi and myself started our journey from home at 05:30pm with an intention that we could park our car near to that building . 

Actually it's just a twenty minutes drive from my home but it was taken another one hour to find out a parking. Anyway God had kept a space for my Nissan Sunny and I successfully, more over with all my excitements parked my car. 

After that we, three of them just wandered through out the streets. Rengi and Shibi were so busy with watching beautiful girls passing in front of them. I was silently observing their love for worshipping beauty and just followed them. We had hot coffee and muffins. As my Two Gentlemen were so busy with their own business, I started to search my Love among the stars in the sky... 

Yes! I saw it .. The brightest star in the sky .. My Love... 

Then I started my silent conversations with My Love and with Nature. 

Just felt like I was floating in the air and I could touch the clouds but when I come closer to You, I could experience that the distance between us was increasing. I never lost the hope and I moved forward with a determination that I can touch You one day. My imagination was spreading a beautiful smile on my lips.... 

Suddenly I saw a big fire breaks out.. I called others also and showed that. Oh! God it was a disaster and breathtaking experience. There were millions of people waiting for the fireworks. All got stunned by witnessing that. Fire was just engulfing the whole building within fraction of seconds. We saw police, fire force, ambulance and everyone were rushing to that  place. All casualties were shifted to hospitals. The fire breaks out started at 9:00pm and might be got under the control by midnight. 

It was so windy and chilly and we witnessed fire flames were flying in the sky. I could feel that my heart was sinking as it spoiled my whole excitement. I stood there and prayed for the people who were trapped in that hotel. Thankfully, no deaths reported and only 14 people were injured , and there was no major casualties.

At 11:40pm, one police man informed that there wouldn't be any fire works. I felt so des pirated and planned to go to other part of Dubai for at least watching a small fire works. I took my car and drove to Burj Al Arab . Before reaching the destination, we could see the beautiful but small celebration of new year in the sky. Even if it was a jaw dropping experience,I wasn't happy because  I missed the most beautiful thing... I always Miss the Most Beautiful Things in my life...so I counted that also as one among that...

Our discussion was about that fire through out our journey when I was driving back to home at 1.00am. We, three were so disappointed for not watching the fireworks at Burj Khalifa.

Anyway we reached home by 2.30pm after passing through such a hectic traffic. The next day morning, we woke up with a great news that there was a New Years celebration and fire works at Burj Khalifa.

 "Oh! God this is not fair," I just said it.

I decided I will come back to Dubai once to celebrate New year again, even if I go to any part of this world.

Lord ! You opened my New Year with Fire... As per Hindu mythology Fire is a good sign to begin something. But frankly speaking that fire was a destructive one.. So I am confused... 

Anyway I celebrated my my New Year with haunting memory of that disaster. Thank God at least all are safe... 

Life is unpredictable.

We never know 

What is written in our next moment 

where it's gonna to take you 

Who'll be there with you to hold your hand 
and take you to your destination 

So be thankful to God and this Nature 

For being here in this beautiful earth

Love every moment, every thing and everyone..

KARTHIKA...

Blessed Day

Today's Special was my yummy Crab Curry. Then spent time on reading a book named "The complete woman " by Osho. As usual I was gone to church in the evening. Actually A great News showered a blessing on this special day that my Pappa's treatment is successful and 90% of his body is free from cancerous cells. Doctors guaranteed another 10 more years life span for my Pappa.

I am so glad my father. You really deserve that. It just happened because of your determination, confidence and longing for to have a beautiful life in this Earth. I am really proud of you my Father. I know you had gone through hell during the treatment. I know you were totally desperate at certain points where ill health and finance remained as an obstacle for your recovery. Perhaps those times you forgot that you are blessed with three beautiful Angels in your life... Your daughters... The moment you realized the fact that you can overcome all the hindrance with the astonishing reinforce by your daughters and sons-in-law, your entire self esteem and confidence upgraded and in turn reasoned in your speedy recovery. In the same way, immense support and prayers from your siblings, our cousins and relatives really aided in the whole process of  recuperation. THANK GOD....

All the knots are getting untied one by one. I trust and hope that our life would also unknot the silence between us. Rengi will be back after two days with his book. He is experiencing an immense contentment. It's really worth watching people around you are getting full filled by their needs and desires. And when you play the role as their back support , the smile on their face certainly embellishes the beauty of your living. 

I would like to be the reason for the smile of my loved ones around me. That's what I always wonder how could I encounter a failure in our relationship even though I wished to have a divinity in that. I don't know.... But I never experienced any uncertainty then and now. I am still confident in my friendship and my personality. And I still have a great trust and respect towards our friendship and relationship for I always contemplate it as a Divine. 

I talked to my friend from Canada yesterday, Anns. We had such a great time.... She is also resembling somewhat with my mind sets, thoughts, feelings and desires. She was the best student in our campus both academically and in extra curricular activities. I should comment about her as a spectacular personality for She is..She was fond of my writing and wired thoughts. She showed me yesterday one of my writings which I wrote it in a piece of tissue paper about Love and the person whom I am in search of. I felt so excited when I came to know that she has been possessing that as one of her most valuable assets for last 10 years. She read that for me... Oh! My Goodness it just took me out of the box. I just missed everything... My college days... My writings of those days... 

I wrote this 10 year back... 

We talked about Life, love, relationships, our determinations, dreams and everything under the sun. It was absolutely a knowledgeable and vibrant conversation.

That's what I loved in You as well. We could  have been talked about anything and everything in this universe and it was just inculcating a sense of well being and mutual understanding of our two souls. That's what my Happiness... That's what my smile because it was always connecting with the world of letters and my literary world... 
Horribly missing everything .... It's okay... What else I can write here... Just part and parcel of life, isn't it??... 

If someone knows each and every pulsation of yours, that's the most missing factor in one's soul. That would be the major concern during a separation. No one shares their extreme secrets and emotions with anyone until they experience a great trust and love towards someone. It's a mutual respect and understanding between the two souls. Let me stop... My reminiscences are initiated to haunting me now. Better stop here... I can't forget anything as it touched my inner soul and desires of my life. 

Let it be... Hoping for the best...

Life will move on be happy or sad....
 Every day you witness sunrise and sunset ....
Every moment you ponder about someone or something..
Still Life always takes it's own turning in the junction of desires
Sometimes gives you surprises, but sometimes despirations..
But after all Life is an expectation...
And Longing for our unfulfilled dreams ...

....KARTHIKA....

Live the life with Love, Respect & Compassion.

16/11/2015, 08:14PM

Just came back to home after the two days of hectic schedule of shift. Literally my back is aching and I can't even stretch my legs because it's hurting. I wish if somebody was here to give me a cup of coffee which I really wish to have now .... Oops! My favorite Nescafé Gold coffee powder is finished... So coffee is cancelled...  Simply lied down on the sofa for few minutes to ease my mind and body.... I was thinking then I am so lucky because I don't need to take care of other things like taking care of the babies and family like my other colleagues do after their duty... They can't even relax at home because of their ample of responsibilities... But For me, Just come back home , if you want to have food, have it or else take rest and sleep.... Cool!!!! ... Actually it's not cool the way everybody thinks...

I have been taking care of a highly dependent and high risk child at work for last two days... It was really a strenuous effort to deal with that child because of all the tracheotomy, peg tube and all sorts of things. I really felt proud of that child's mother because of the way she is looking after her child... She  has been staying with her child since that child was born... Means Spending her time for nearly one and a half year in a hospital setting.... She is awake through out the night and always sleeping for a very short period .. Still I can always see her with a beautiful smile which hides all her tiring expressions.... Sometimes I just silently watch them and enjoy their bonding.

It's awesome to witness an interaction between a mother and child because they speak in a totally different language which they can only understand. One of the most beautiful expressions of Life... 

Since I have been working in a pediatric unit, I can experience that all my maternal instincts are just overflowing whenever I take care of the kids... I always communicate them through my eyes... They always catch my eyes and would be staring at me for long time ... At the end I can spot them with a  beautiful smile.... Loving it... Almost all the parents are used to ask me one question "Do you have kids?" .. Because of the way I am dealing with the children...

Actually I loved to have a minimum of five kids and maximum of 8 kids in my life ... But I couldn't even achieve ONE ... It's okay... It's not necessary to be a mother to experience a Motherhood... Once l settle my Reng's life, I will adopt children from different parts of the world.. Mmmm... Is that a bit weird wish???? Never...... But I can only believe once it happens.... Let me wish....  Hoping that I can say goodbye to this universe after fulfilling at least one dream of mine....

Anyway even if it was a hectic schedule, I experienced a sense of well being after the shift amidst my  aches and tiredness for I could manage everything very consciously and proficiently at work today . One of the attenders came and appreciated me and my work  in front of all the staffs and our head of the department... Doctor was so happy and expressed his gratitude towards me...

 A word of appreciation through a "Compliment" or through a simple "Thanks" really uplifts one's soul, confidence and self esteem....

Lots to pen here... But better tomorrow.... Because my eye lids are swinging with sleep...

Good Night and Have a Great and Peaceful Day to all the creatures in this world...

I can't sign out my blog without expressing My heart felt condolences to all the victims of the bomb blasts in France.. Praying for them ... Can't understand the psychology of people who wish to assassinate innocent people for their existence...

Oh! Lord just disseminate the celestial glory of Love and Peace through out mankind and the world .... Let everyone has a peaceful living in this beautiful Earth... 

PLEASE STOP THE BLOODSHED AND WAR .....

 REALIZE THE TRUTH THAT NO ONE OWNS ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD.... 

LIVE THE LIFE WITH LOVE, RESPECT & COMPASSION...

With prayers KARTHIKA....

The Distance

It's 12 midnight... One more day is ending for a new dawn... Gone to British council in the evening but when I reached there, I came to know that my car's tyre got punctured... Then somehow I took my car to the work shop and repaired. After that I went to church... As usual I offered my prayers with my Blessed Rosary... Nowadays I go to church when no one is there in the church... I love to offer my prayers in the extreme  silence... I usually spend nearly one hour there...kind of meditation..

Came back at 0800pm and started to read a book.. I didn't do anything in the day time, just simply sitting and thinking about what to do.. Thought of writing something but not got into that mood..

I was reading a book now. Suddenly I remembered about this song... Started to listen... A song of distance .. Beautiful lyrics and relevant to the hour...

Is the distance keeping us away?

Or is the silence keeping us away?

Never wish to think that we're away 

As we know what we're & who we're.

Just awaiting for the right moment

Where we both can see each other 

The way we wished & dreamt about 

The way we passionate about our longing.

I'm not measuring the distance 

I'm not counting the days 

Let bygones be bygones 

Set forth to reach our destiny.

You may not be knowing 

That My days are numbered 

Please break your esoteric Silence 

So that let me know that I'm alive.

KARTHIKA...

Feeling SOMETHING...

There is a time to start certain things in your life.

There is a time  to stop certain things in your life.

There is a time to shatter certain things in your life.

Actually not in a full swing to write anything. But I want to scribble something

 to get out from my madness....  "WORDS" the most powerful weapon in the world. It can amuse you or shatter you into pieces.

I fell in Love with the words when I was a child. My first Love... And my first love letter was written in a small dairy and it was addressed to God. Even if I didn't get any reply, I was kept on writing my love letters to God every day. My innocent and cute little heart expected a reply from Him whenever I opened my diary.  BUT HE NEVER REPLIED....

Actually I never wrote any love letters to anyone in my life, never happened any love affair the way I dreamt or trusted. Only infatuations were experienced , not a REAL LOVE. Actually My world was just encompassed by books and writings. But I was an ardent fan of a "Divine Love" and "Divine Sex". I have a very strong perception that once you experience divine love , then you can experience divine sex as well. Both are well connected and it's not possible by every human beings to experience both the divinity in it's full swings. I always ponder that Those who are experienced both the divinity altogether are considered as the most beautiful and luckiest people in this world.  

I have been experiencing that divinity in love with my letters since childhood. Divinity in sex .. that is just a surprise.. like a dream... I have to give birth to my First baby this year... I am on my way... I do always wonder about each and every incidents happening in our life. Everything has it's own reasons but the impact will depend on the way you dealt with the circumstances. Sometimes although you know that things are not in favour of us, the external stimuli will have the command over you to take you to your destiny. There is a saying in Malayalam "സംഭവാമി യുഗേ യുഗേ!". Means whatever is written in your destiny will happen in due course of time .

I would really like to take a long break in my life, staying away from all worldly attachments and just disappear.... No more Love, no more pain , no more dreams ... just You and This Beautiful Nature... A fervent deep coupling with the Nature...

 Oh! my God my madness is going out of the boundaries ...  

Nobody can stop my Love

nobody can stop my pain

 nobody can stop my Life

Nobody can stop my Destiny

For I am the only one responsible

for my existence...  

Congrats Rengi

My heartfelt congratulations Rengi for your first creation. 

"Appooppan thadikal " Rengi 's first creation is going to Publish on 22nd October during Tharamgini meet at Cochi. It's your determination and hard work made your dream possible. Expressing our gratitude to Mr. Aron Devrag,Actor and writer, Tharamgini online Magazine and the publishing press for their support and guidance. 

Love you too Rengi and God bless you. May all your dreams come true... My Love and Prayers are always with You.

Karthika...

Solitariness

Wants to write a lot but mind and thoughts are not in good terms. Actually they have ample of conflicts to deal with. What will you get at the end .. Nothing... Sometimes I wish if I had a mindset with Low cognitive proficiency. So that l don't ponder much, and I can accept everything as it is.

Being lonely is not easy... You need a strong mindset to face all the realities a lone.... You need to face distinct questions... You need to find the solutions which have contradictory statements. Nevertheless, you will reach the point where you can satisfy your soul and mind even in the secluded life.

Solitariness is a best teacher but must have the determination to mold your life the way your destiny has designed. Your learning just disseminates into your mind and soul and will be  expressed through your words and deeds. There you are the only one responsible for your life and experiences, for you are not trying to be associated or connected with any worldly attachments.

Am I going to out of the topic.. Somewhere... I can feel that I am loosing the connections in my writing... Just relax and reach out for your inner bliss.... My friend always encourages me to find that.. I am trying my level best to reach out for that ultimate level of happiness... Healing will take time and the journey to that seems so long... But I will reach to my final destination.

Why Is This Happening To Me ?(book review)

"Why Is This Happening To Me?" Written by Wayne Monbleau.

One of the best picks by Rengi. When I was going through the roller coaster of emotions, one day Rengi suggested me to read this book. I opted the last chapter to  begin my reading and never attempted to read the entire book at one stretch as well , actually not had the mindset for digesting that fully. But still I have been going through the each chapter in a gap of three to five days. 

Since I was totally impressed with certain verses in the book, just thought of pen it in my blog. Hereby quoting those words which uplifted my soul and self.

"The very things that held you down are going to carry you up and up and up."

This quote was derived from a Disney film, Dumbo, story of a circus elephant who had been born with unusually enormous ears. Since he was different from other elephants, all other elephants ridiculed him except his loving mother. He was left alone, but a small mouse befriended him and encouraged him to find out his strengths. 

The turning point happening in his life, when he find himself and little companion nestled in the branch of a tree in one morning . They both had a very lengthy discussion about that and at the end the very little mouse stared at his perplexed elephant friend and said with whole excitement "Dumbo , you can fly with your ears!!! The very things that held you down are going to carry you up and up and up." Yes... This is what we need in our life also. If you are blessed with a gift, never intend to loose that , for everyone is not born with that Special Gifts. Give a try rather than just ignoring the blessing , the rest is written in destiny.

"Accept your Humanity " 

  

This illustrates what you are and who you are. Instead of hating yourself and agonizing over your every weakness, accept your humanity and realize when you are weak , you are in a perfect place to see Me ( God) shining through you."

I dare to admit that I am not a perfect person. As a normal human being, I do have lots of flaws and negatives in terms of thought and attitude towards life and experiences.
In this chapter author compare the human life to an earthen vessel. If you are perfect, you are an earthen vessel without any cracks or blemishes. Then people can see the light of the treasure only through one way and hides the light of the treasure altogether.. But a cracked, imperfect vessel lets the treasure's light be seen by all. 

It is inculcating the fact that sometimes God or the Nature wants to disseminate certain messages to the universe through your imperfections and weaknesses... Awesome!!! It doesn't mean that you have the freedom to do all the nonsense in your life. Never...
FIND OUT THE TREASURE WITHIN YOU, NOT THE CRACK.

To summarize,, even if we all aware about the realities of life, when we face the factual circumstances, any of the philosophies or theories never gonna to reach your brain or mind during the outbreaks of the emotions. And we would be totally masked by the effects of that adversities and at the verge of exploding our feelings. It's quite natural and that's  a sort of defense mechanism for continuing our survival in this beautiful earth.

Nothing is gonna to last for ever... That's the most beautiful healing power of God Or the Nature.. 

Sometimes it may leave a scar in your heart but The most powerful words in this world, LOVE will protect that scar from bleeding again with pain ... 

Thank You my Lord for a beautiful life in this Earth..

  

KARTHIKA...

Welcoming the Winter...

The climate was seemed bit hazy in the morning  , when I looked out through my window. Feeling so rejuvenated the moment I experienced the signals from The Nature for welcoming the Winter. Temperature came down to 29 degree Celsius from 40 degree. Cool wind was just trying to hug me to spread the message of winter... Beautiful.... Feeling loved by the Nature.... 

It's already late for changing the season... Still we all are eagerly awaiting to cherish each moments of Winter. WELCOME TO U.A.E.

I have received a mail from the Editor of Metro magazine publishing in Australia for publishing my story in their next edition...so winter brought me a beautiful gift as well. Expressing my gratitude....

Lord! I know You are there to guide me and to bless me with a beautiful life.... Thank You... 

Everything will fall in place when time comes... Nothing is gonna to miss in our living as well, be it's good or bad , happiness or sorrow, love or resentment .... But at the end everyone loves to be  Loved until the last breath goes away from us... So Let's disseminate the celestial glory Love in this Universe....      

KARTHIKA...

IT'S NOT MY NONSENSE!!!!! (PART II)

  

Do you ever ponder that whether we need a  conclusion for everything? Actually not, because certain things in the universe  always exist as infinite. Why I did begin with the topic conclusion is  for illustrating the fact that even if the intensity and frequency of attraction might be diminished or disconnected by external stimuli, the vibration emits from our energy field has the strength to be reconnected again. I would like portrait this with my own experience.

Anee… one among the two special people who influenced me and  knows  in and out of my life and my expressions. Speaking about her, she is a bold lady with high intellect and multifaceted personality. I was disconnected from her for last two years and fortunately reconnected again last month.  We met each other in Delhi. Actually we never cherished our togetherness based on a "best friend's theory" like sitting together, chatting together, eating together etc…. NEVER…. we always appreciated our friendship as finding our own space in our relationship as two different personalities, but we could sense each other's pulsation.

When I met her recently, she conveyed that Tintu after meeting you again, I filled with an immense joy and positive energy, which was also acknowledged by her better-half as well. That is just because of the similarity of energy field surrounding us and we both could recognize that. So it's a fact that mankind with same vibes always have the proficiency to comprehend and compliment each other,  and that relationship embellish with affirmative bedrock, in turn propagate the uttermost contentment. Their dreams, level of thinking, desires, creativity and personality would be almost similar.

Anyway life will move on and I am proud of myself that I could meet two amazing people in my life with equivalent vibes, no matter where they are. I trust that we will be coupled with each other through deep relating. To be continued….   

IT'S NOT MY NONSENSE!!!!!!! :)

Thoughts are at it’s peak now. I think creative part of my brain is fully functional. Special gratitude for making me so vibrant……. As part of my new write up, I referred so many books related to love, relationships and getting connected, but I got confused with distinct ideas of various writers. Then I decided to illustrate my own perceptions regarding those topics. Since it’s a vast topic and limited time in my night duty made me to write few thoughts about how people are getting connected.

I do always wonder why we are not falling in love with everyone whom we meet or pass by in our life. What I believe is that each creations in the universe have distinct vibrations and frequency which emit through their acts, thoughts, creations, love, relationship and even through sex. When people with same energy meet each other , there emerges the quest for to be connected or associated. I am not explain about infatuations, it’s all about deep relating where you could feel each other’s vibrations.

Getting attracted or connected to someone is not a fault as long as you know how to respect your relationship and treat each other with respect. The association with someone depends on the strength of vibration which would be reflected in certain people in high frequency. Those individuals cannot be associated with normal people and their thoughts and deeds are divergent from common man. They always stand distinct among the crowd. Their level of confidence and positive attitude towards life will always take the prime position throughout their living. They have great extent of self-respect and high self-esteem and keep trust towards self and their proficiencies. They spread positive energy around and always with a flow of unconditional love. They never wish to hurt anyone for they respect each and every expressions of a man kind.  

Finding people with similar frequency is not an easy going way. There needs an upgraded intellect and perfect perception towards their life and relationship. Certain people love to associate with lots of relationship and friends, and are highly vibrant as well. What I noticed that when someone is well connected with people and society, they feel immense positivity and happiness. But other kind of people fond to be associated with one person or very few people in their life, not in terms of selfishness. Their level of personality and insight are focusing on a particular aspect of a person whom they would like to be connected. They would not be able to get along with everyone because of their hyper emission of vibrations. Their expressions in terms of love, lust and creativity would be extremely incredible. They can connect each other through any means such thoughts, dreams, and even through simple existence.

Time to go back to my duty again…… so stopping here for the day without a conclusion.